


Still Standing

by PrincessWriter20



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical themes, Hurt/Comfort, Lone Wolf Ending (Life is Strange 2), Memories, Multi, Not the fluff you're looking for, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 02:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30098922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessWriter20/pseuds/PrincessWriter20
Summary: Finn finally makes it to Mexico, hoping to reunite with Sean and Daniel after years apart. He's looking for home now, and he hopes that this can be his second chance. His chance to make things right, and finally be with Sean. His chance at having a family again.Things are a lot more complicated when he gets there though.
Relationships: Daniel Diaz & Finn (Life is Strange 2), Daniel Diaz & Sean Diaz, Sean Diaz/Finn
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	Still Standing

**Author's Note:**

> I tried something a little different today, but I hope you all enjoy it!

All those years ago, back in Humboldt County, when they were still kids… Finn never really felt like a kid, but looking back, he was just that. A stupid, reckless kid with stupid, crazy dreams. But Sean…

Strong, brave, determined…

Sean inspired him.

Sean, without even realizing it, showed Finn that maybe there was more to life than just… drinking cocktails out of coconuts every night with faceless silhouettes that he’d be far too wasted to remember the next day.

Finn had been gone for him from the first moment.

And Sean…

Sean actually returned those feelings. Felt the same way that Finn did…

_How the fuck did that happen?_

Finn didn’t understand it… but he wasn’t going to question it either. Why would he, when suddenly, somehow, everything he ever wanted was right in front of him?

He still remembered the taste of those lips. The feel of them. The way they moved against his…

Slowly.

Tentatively.

Like Sean was afraid to mess it up… As if he could ever mess up what was the single, most perfect moment of Finn’s existence.

It was a moment that he wished could have lasted forever.

But it didn’t.

The heist.

The stupid fucking heist…

After that night, and after what happened… Finn was convinced he’d never see Sean again. Never feel those lips again. Never… never get to know what it felt like to be with Sean, and be loved by Sean.

He’d missed his chance; fucked it up. Fucked everything up, for everyone.

He didn’t _deserve_ a chance. He didn’t deserve to see Sean again. Not after what he did. Not after what he caused.

Everything went wrong, because of him, and his stupid idea. He thought it was the right thing to do…

It wasn’t.

He promised Sean that it would be okay. Promised him that they’d be okay.

They weren’t.

Finn was in the hospital. Merrill – the fucker – had shot him. And Sean was…

Finn had _no idea_ where Sean was.

Agent Flores refused to tell him a single thing. She always prodded, and pushed, and tried to get information out of Finn. She played nice and promised to keep him out of too much trouble if he cooperated, but he didn’t care. He merely scoffed every time she came to his room, expecting him to tell her anything.

_Fucking pigs._

At the very least, he could pat himself on the back for not fucking up again. For not fucking up everyone else’s lives even more.

He felt pathetic, praising himself for doing the bare minimum, but he needed it. He needed to believe that his efforts – though small and absolutely not enough to make up for what he’d already done – would help.

That was all he could ever ask for.

But then, Sean found him in the hospital.

Sean was missing an eye. Sean was missing a brother. Sean was missing a piece of his heart, and a piece of himself… And it was all Finn’s fault.

But Sean actually gave Finn a chance to say… sorry. And Sean…

_I don’t blame you, Finn._

Finn didn’t understand. How could Sean not blame him, when it had so clearly and so undoubtedly been his fault? It was his idea to do the heist, and it was his idea to rope Sean and Daniel in… It was his fault. He promised them security, and safety. Quick and easy. In and out.

_Candy from a baby._

He was wrong, and he messed up, and it was… It was his fault.

That night, Finn cried himself to sleep, wishing that things were different. Wishing that he could have told Sean how he felt under different circumstances… Better circumstances. Another lifetime, perhaps.

He longed for a time when they weren’t separated by a glass window and a field of distance that had been put there because of the choices they’d made.

The choices that Finn had made.

_I love you… so much._

Words that were uttered in a moment of desperation, as if he hoped that saying them would somehow heal what had been hurt… It didn’t. Sean was still hurt. Finn had still hurt him.

And now he had to say goodbye.

_I’m really gonna miss you._

But Sean gave him hope.

_Me too, Finn._

Hope that there was still a chance. A chance for redemption, and a chance to… Finn didn’t know what exactly. But he held onto it with everything in him. With everything he had.

_And who knows? Maybe we’ll see each other again._

The next day, cops were all over the place, searching for Sean… He’d escaped, and they referred to him a criminal as if he’d actually done anything wrong. He did what he needed to do, to survive, and to protect his little brother.

Agent Flores was back with a new sense of determination, demanding answers. Demanding to know where Sean was. As if Finn would help her capture and lock up someone that didn’t do anything wrong.

As if he would do that to Sean.

No. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

The least he could do now, after everything, was not make things even worsefor Sean.

Even if it meant making things worse for himself.

Many months were spent recovering in the hospital, and then even more time spent recovering at his brother’s place in San Diego which… wasn’t awful. Being with his brother after all that time apart was good. Maybe, if things were different, he would have stuck around for longer, but…

It wasn’t home.

By the time he was on his feet again, almost an entire year had passed. He couldn't take off and travel. Hannah, Cassidy and Penny were all long gone. The last time that he heard from any of them was when Hannah left him a note at the hospital saying that things were so different now.

He wouldn't have been surprised if the three of them weren't even together anymore, and that was his fault too.

_Shit._

He tried to at least keep track of Sean and Daniel, and their journey, keeping an eye out for articles in the paper about mysterious explosions and possible sightings.

It was painful to watch as the boys’ lives were put under the microscope, subject to criticism and hate from the public. As if the public could say anything about the boys and what they’d done. What the fuck did they know?

He wrote them a letter… Wrote Sean a letter. Told him about his tight parole, and the community service he’d been stuck with, and…

_Give me a shout when you get to Mexico._

Eventually, he lost their trail, as did the rest of the world. It was as if they’d disappeared. Finn didn’t know where they’d gotten to, but he hoped that they’d make it far away from here. Maybe they’d already made it to Mexico?

Hopefully, they did.

He never heard from Sean though and caught himself hoping that it was more because Sean _chose_ not to call, and not because Sean couldn’t call. Even if that hurt a lot, it was better than thinking that they… didn’t get there.

_No._

Thinking about Sean stuck in a prison cell was not an option. Sean had to have made it. He deserved to make it; he and Daniel both.

They deserved to be _free_ , and they deserved to be _together_.

Finn refused to entertain any other possibility.

His brother forced him to stop checking the papers every day, saying it was not healthy and that Finn needed to distract himself… But what was the point? Even if he didn’t read those stupid articles, he still thought about them every day, so what difference did it really make?

_I think about you more than you might believe._

Still, he had to admit that it hurt him to see what was written about the two boys… so he stopped.

Stopped checking the papers. Stopped reading the articles. Stopped waiting for news, or a phone call.

He had a new plan.

As soon as he could – which was only after he finished his community service – he started working.

It was nothing to write home about.

Small jobs… Legal jobs… Any job he could get. It wasn’t exactly easy to get a good job with decent pay when you were fresh out of community service, but he did what he could.

Once he’d made enough money, which took far longer than he would have liked, Finn booked the earliest flight available to Mexico.

_I’m coming home sweetheart._

It was a long shot. A long fucking shot. Finn didn’t know where to start looking, or what he would say when he found them. When he found Sean.

When he found home…

_Puerto Lobos._

For weeks, Finn searched aimlessly, asking if anyone had seen his family.

Sean Diaz. A man with an eyepatch, or a glass eye maybe… A wolf tattoo on his arm… A little brother, Daniel. Daniel would be sixteen by now…

He tried to describe them as best he could, even going so far as to mention their twin moles, hoping that someone had information. He needed to know that someone knew where his family was…

No one did. No one could tell him anything. No one had seen a man with one eye. 

It was… terrifying. A terrifying thought. What if…

_No._

_They have to be here._

Finn couldn’t give up. That was not an option. The only option was to find them. Even if they sent him away again. Even if too much time had passed for them to do this… He had to find them, and know that they made it. That they were here.

That they were safe.

_They have to be safe. Please let them be safe._

He kept looking.

One day, he thought he might have gotten lucky.

At the mention of the name ‘Diaz’, a woman he’d asked about the boys seemed to remember something. Her eyes widened, before she nodded, giving him helpful directions and sending him on his way with a smile.

Diaz Repair Shop…

_Hope._

Overwhelmed with relief, he pulled her in for a hug. She protested and he apologized profusely before rushing over there, feeling more excited than he’d been in a long time.

He didn’t want to waste any more time.

_Six years._

This was it. This was where they were.

It had to be…

It wasn’t.

The building was abandoned. Empty. Old and tired from years left alone.

_Alone._

He knocked, and he called for them, and he tried to look through the windows, but…

They weren’t there.

Finn nearly gave up right then and there. Nearly turned and went home.

No, not home.

Back to America.

Questioning everything, and not sure what to do next, he found himself on the beach, looking to the ocean for a sign, and remembering the days when his biggest dream was to be on a beach just like this… Coconut cocktail in hand, and feet in the sand… That was all he wanted.

How childish that dream seemed now.

All he wanted… No, _needed_ now… was to find Sean. To find Sean, and Daniel, and just be home again.

He thought back to that night, tucked away between the trees, away from everyone else.

_I feel like we have a strong connection._

All these years and he still felt the same.

_I think I feel… the same._

Hopefully, Sean did too.

It had been so long… Six whole years…

That’s a lot of time. A lot of time to move on, and forget…

But he still held onto that small flicker of hope, locked away in the deepest corner of his heart. On the days when he felt especially despondent, that was all that kept him going.

_You tried something, even if it ended up being a mistake._

Sean didn’t hate him… And maybe when Finn found him, they could start over. Start a new life.

A new life together.

The three of them.

Finn would do better this time; no reckless heists. This was his chance to be better, and to prove that he was better… That he wasn’t that same stupid, reckless kid.

All he needed was a sign from the universe.

And then he got one…

There was a boy…

A boy with blonde hair…

He was walking along the beach by himself, covered in tattoos and scars…

Finn didn’t know why he felt the need to pay so much attention to this kid. He didn’t recognize him from anywhere… And yet, he felt familiar. There was something about him. Something intimidating, yet so undeniably comforting.

The blonde boy came to a stop, crouching down in front of a wall, and Finn was… curious.

Something told him to walk over there, so he did. His feet carried him across the beach as if he were running on autopilot. As he got closer, he noticed that the boy was now sitting cross-legged in front of something…

A memorial of some sort.

A blue, wooden cross.

_Maybe I should turn around…_

Finn didn’t know this kid, but if he was in front of a memorial, then he probably didn’t want to be disturbed. Small talk with some stranger and mourning definitely didn’t seem like two things that would go together well.

But then, as Finn started turning, something caught his eye…

A sketchbook.

In the boy’s hand.

_There’s no way…_

Sean’s sketchbook.

Sean’s sketchbook?

Finn rubbed his eyes with his fists before looking again, expecting to see something else.

But no.

That was _definitely_ Sean’s.

Finn recognized it from all the times that Sean pulled it out around camp, spending so much time hunched over it, scribbling away furiously and trying to capture the world around him.

But… how… It couldn’t be Sean’s… Because if that was Sean’s…

Sean pretty much never let anyone see his sketchbook, let alone take it from him…

_There has to be an explanation._

Finn stepped even closer, feeling his knees wobble as he tried to steady his heartbeat, struggling to fill his lungs with air.

He felt like he was sinking beneath the surface, losing sight of the things around him, but he refused to stop paddling and holding himself up until he knew that it wasn’t…

That this wasn’t…

_Fuck._

It was right there. All of it. Every bit of evidence that he needed.

An eyepatch.

Sean’s sketchbook.

Sean’s father’s lighter.

Sean’s name…

_RIP_

_SEAN_

Finn stumbled. Fell to his knees.

This was all wrong.

His ears were ringing. His vision blurred. His hands shook as he toppled over forward, trying to catch himself on his hands before his face hit the ground. He held himself up over trembling arms that grew weaker with every second that passed.

Every breath that he took… _hurt_.

It hurt so much.

Finn wanted to give up, let his arms give in so he could collapse into the ground. Maybe the ground could swallow him whole?

But then a thought occurred to him.

If Sean was…

Then this _had to be_ …

Slowly, more slowly than he’d ever moved before, Finn looked up and at the blonde boy, past the tears building in his eyes that threatened to spill onto the ground beneath him.

“Daniel?”

The boy – _Daniel_ – jumped to his feet, whirling around and looking like he was ready for a fight. As if he was ready to defend himself from… something. There was a dead look in his eyes.

His gaze settled on Finn then, who was pushing himself up onto his knees, and those dark, almost black eyes widened.

“Finn?”

_Holy shit. He sounds so different… Older._

In another lifetime, Finn would have pulled him close; would have hugged him tightly… They would have laughed and cried and Finn would have insisted that they hang out… Catch up.

But Sean…

_Oh God._

“Please tell me… It’s not… It can’t… He can’t be – ”

Finn couldn’t even say it out loud, his voice fading. He was asking for something that he knew wasn’t possible. There was no getting around the truth.

Sean was –

“Go home, Finn.”

“What? Daniel – “

Finn tried to protest, standing up and reaching out, but Daniel threw him to the side by doing nothing other than nudging his head in that direction. It didn’t hurt, and something told him that if Daniel wanted to hurt him, he would have.

It was comforting to think that maybe Daniel cared enough not to actually hurt him, but…

_His powers…_

They were so much stronger.

“Get out of here. Go!”

It was then that Finn noticed the fact that Daniel’s eyes weren’t on him. Instead, his gaze was fixed on three other people in the distance, approaching him with bats and pipes in hand.

Finn had so many questions, and not a single one was being answered. He watched, stunned into silence, unable to move, as Daniel effortlessly dealt with two of them, tossing them aside like they were nothing.

He felt like he was going to be sick. He could do nothing but stare as Daniel stalked over to the third guy, who looked like he was seconds away from pissing himself. He pulled out his gun and aimed it right at Daniel, but the boy didn’t show any fear.

The man’s arm began to shake and his eyes widened as the gun – seemingly on its own – turned upward and aimed itself at him. Realizing the situation that he was in; the man shook his head desperately.

Finn watched as he begged and pleaded for mercy.

Begged for his life.

His life that was in Daniel’s hands.

Little Daniel, that had been so full of innocence despite all the shit he and Sean had been through…

_Fuck._

Finn opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t find his voice. He wanted to stop Daniel, and say that Sean wouldn’t have wanted this… But then Daniel walked past him, sparing his life.

He watched as the man dropped to his knees, the gun falling to the ground as he savored the fact that he was still… alive.

_Alive._

His whole body shaking, Finn forced himself to move. He crawled over to where Sean’s sketchbook was still laying in the sand and grabbed it. He gave the memorial one last look and then clenched his eyes shut.

_I’m so sorry, Sean._

_I’ll be back._

“Daniel! Wait!”

He took off in the direction that Daniel had gone, sketchbook in hand, and tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He blinked them away, ignoring the three people laying in the sand, panting as he caught up with the kid – teenager, shit – that had stopped in his tracks a distance away.

“Daniel… Can we just… sit down and talk?”

“About what?” Daniel asked, not even looking at Finn as he muttered the words. He started walking again, and Finn had to power walk just to keep up.

This… This wasn’t Daniel.

This felt like a shell. A shell left behind after who knows how many years of being alone…

Finn never thought he could miss someone that was standing right in front of him.

“I… I didn’t know… Sean – “

“Don’t – “

“Daniel, wait – “

“No, Finn. Go home. There’s nothing for you here.”

“I can’t go home. Not now…”

“Finn, please.”

Finn couldn’t cry. He refused to cry.

“You left the sketchbook.”

Daniel yanked it out of his hands, still refusing to look him in the eye.

He looked so different…

“I’m sorry about your brother...”

“Thanks,” Daniel mumbled.

“When did this – “

“The border.”

“Shit…”

_You never made it to Mexico…_

_That was all you wanted…_

“What are you even doing here?” Daniel asked, still looking anywhere but at Finn.

“I was looking for you… For both of you… but now things are…”

“Different.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, you found me,” Daniel said bitterly. “Now you can go.”

“You really think I can just leave now?”

“Yes. I do. You can leave, Finn. You can go back to America. You can go home. There’s no reason for you to stay here.”

“I can’t go home! I was trying to… but I can’t, because… Don’t you see, Daniel? Why do you think I came out here in the first place lookin’ for y’all?”

“I don’t know, Finn. You never gave things much thought before.”

_Ouch._

“Daniel – “

“No. Things aren’t the same now. We can’t just sit down and talk and act like we’re two old friends catching up.”

“I’m not askin’ for that.”

“Then what the _fuck_ are you asking for?”

Finn winced at the curse word as it left Daniel’s mouth… Sean used to hate when Daniel swore. He was all grown up now though, so what could Finn say?

“I’m jus’… I wanna talk to you, little man.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Finn said quickly, raising his hands. Daniel glared at him, which was the first time he’d actually looked at him at all… before rolling his eyes and walking off again.

Finn chased after him.

“Wait up.”

“Jesus fucking Christ. You just don’t give up, do you?”

“How can I? Daniel, you’ve been on your own for six fucking years.”

“Yeah, I know,” Daniel spat. “I don’t need you to remind me.”

“That’s not – I jus’ – I wanna help you.”

_“Help me?”_

“Yeah...”

“How exactly do _you_ plan on helping _me_?”

“Uh – “

“And what makes you think that I need your _help_?”

“Daniel, jus’ – “

“I’ve been alone for six years. Six years, Finn. I’ve been on my own, and I’ve been just fine. I don’t need you. I don’t need anybody!”

“Well, maybe I need you!”

Daniel scoffed.

“Listen to me. I came out here because I was looking for my home… I was looking for you guys. You and Sean…”

“Finn… You can’t just expect…” Daniel shook his head, looking at his feet. “Things aren’t – “

“I know, alright? I know things ain’t gonna be the same, but… I can’t go back. I can’t… I need to be here, and…” Finn trailed off, looking back at the memorial in the distance. His heart ached, and talking was so fucking hard. Even just standing felt impossible… but he forced the words out anyway. “I can’t leave him.”

“Stop that!” Daniel yelled, catching Finn by surprise. “You can’t do this to me.”

“I’m not doing anything to you.”

“You’re making this harder for me. Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone? I don’t want you here.”

“Daniel, please – “

“No! I don’t care, Finn. It’s too late. Go. Away. Before I make you.”

Finn didn’t actually believe that Daniel would hurt him. He didn’t know if that made him brave or stupid, but he really wanted to believe that Daniel was still… Daniel.

But it was the look in his eyes… The finality in his tone…

“O-okay,” Finn said, stumbling backward a bit.

“I mean it. You need to – “

“I got it. I need to go.”

Finn couldn’t believe that was his own voice that he was hearing… So fragile. It trembled as he spoke, coming out barely above a whisper.

Daniel almost looked like he felt bad for sending Finn away like that, but then he quickly masked his emotions beneath that same hard exterior. The rough edges. Razor-sharp, jagged and dangerous, to keep people away.

“Yeah. So, go,” he said, folding his arms sternly.

“Okay. I’ll go.”

“Good.”

Before Finn could say another word, Daniel was gone. He walked off, leaving Finn behind with nothing left.

Everything around him was quiet. Still.

All he could hear was his own ragged breathing.

_God…_

He needed to do something… Go somewhere…

The sun was beginning to set, and it would be getting dark soon. The room he’d been renting wasn’t too far from here, but… he couldn’t go. Couldn’t _leave_.

Instead, he found himself back at the memorial, his feet not willing to carry him anywhere else. This was where he’d been heading all this time. Everything he’d done, and every choice he’d made in the last few years, had been part of his journey to _right here_ …

To Sean…

This was where his home was… Where it was supposed to be. Where he needed to be.

But Sean wasn’t here anymore.

Sean was…

_Fucking hell._

It wasn’t fair. Finn wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to fight the world; wanted to make it suffer for ruining the lives of two boys that deserved the world and nothing less.

Sean didn’t deserve this… Daniel didn’t deserve this.

They deserved so much better than what they got.

The world was just so. Fucking. Unfair.

Daniel got a life that he was forced to spend alone without the people that mattered the most to him. His dad and brother were both gone.

He was all alone now, with nothing but the memory of them to keep him company.

And Sean…

“I… I never thought I’d have to talk to you like this.”

There was no response because Finn was alone. Sean wasn’t there.

Sean was gone.

Gone.

_Gone._

The word rang in his head, playing itself over on a loop as if to torture Finn. A brutally painful reminder.

“I’ll be honest, sweetie… This ain’t what I pictured when I booked that flight. I always thought that when… _Shit._ ” Finn choked on his words, trying to fight back the tears but it was proving to be a waste of time. They fell anyway, splashing onto his hands that were folded stiffly in his lap.

“God… I never woulda thought that you – “

He tripped over his words again, a broken sob clawing its way out of him, feeling as wrecked as he sounded. Willing himself to breathe, he inhaled sharply, closing his eyes and clenching his trembling hands into fists.

It was dark already, and the beach was quiet, and it was cold… but he didn’t leave. Didn’t move from his spot, on the sand, staring at all that was left of Sean.

Sean’s memorial.

Finn still couldn’t wrap his head around it. He didn’t want to. That meant accepting it, and how was he supposed to accept that Sean –

“Damnit,” Finn said, wiping his cheeks dry even though they became wet again a second later. “Y’know… If you can hear me, then… Jus’ know that I still remember all of it. Every fuckin’ second.”

_I can’t do this._

“That stupid fuckin’ Christmas market… Us watchin’ the sunset together… That night, when we kissed… I think about it, every single day. Found my way back to you, sweetheart…”

_Please come back to me._

“I thought that if I came here, I’d have a chance to make things right, and make up for what I did…”

_I should have never put you and Daniel in danger._

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry… This ain’t right, Sean. Life was cruel to you. You should be here. You should be… alive. _Happy_. No one deserves that more than you.”

_I wish I could have kept you safe._

“B-but Daniel’s still here, and he’s strong, and he’s.. _._ ”

_He’s different without you here._

“I know that you probably never leave his side, so maybe you ain’t even here right now, but… this is the closest I’m gonna get to actually… talkin’ to you. Wish it were different.”

_I wish you were here._

“If you are listenin’, Sean… Jus’ know that I still mean what I said, in the hospital.”

_I love you… so much._

“I love you, and I – “ Finn paused, his whole body shaking as he tried to speak. He’d never felt so weak before. Not even in the hospital, when he could hardly stand on his own.

“I’m always gonna love you, no matter what. Ain’t no one else in this world for me but you, sweetheart.”

_To the end and shit._

Finn didn’t pay attention to much that went on around him for a while. It was a quiet night, but even if it were anything else, he wouldn’t have noticed. The world could have gone up in flames around him – hell, it felt like it had – and he wouldn’t have been able to bring himself to lift his head.

At least until someone placed a hand on his shoulder.

Tentatively.

The same tentativeness with which Sean used to pat him on the thigh sometimes. Casually. Fleetingly, as if it meant nothing to either of them.

It meant everything though.

But this wasn’t Sean.

“Finn, come on…”

_Daniel._

“What are you doin’ here?” Finn asked, wiping his tears away again, in the hopes that it would somehow wipe away everything else too.

“I came to find you.”

“Why?”

“Because I… Does it matter?”

“Guess not… How much of that did you – “

“I heard enough.”

“I – “

“Dude, are you coming or not?” Daniel asked impatiently.

_Dude…_

Finn almost smiled at the word. Sean used to say ‘dude’ all the time. That was just… his thing…

Oh, how Finn wished that Sean was here to call him ‘dude’ again.

“Where are we goin’?”

“My place. Unless you have somewhere better to go.”

“I’m rentin’ a room, but – “

“Yeah, enough said,” Daniel said with a grimace. Finn couldn’t even argue with that reaction. The room he had been renting was… awful. Mostly because he got the cheapest place available. He’d saved up for years, and wasn’t about to blow it all before he even got to Sean and Daniel…

“Let’s go, already. It’s freezing.”

“Alright, I’m comin’. Jus’…” Finn stood up slowly, his legs wobbling beneath him as he tried to find his balance. He stared down at the blue cross, wiping his tears away. _No more crying tonight._ “Can we come back here tomorrow?”

“I would have come here anyway, so… yeah.”

“Cool. If you wanna come alone then – “

“Makes more sense to do it together. Make one trip… For practical reasons.”

“Right.”

Finn tried not to let himself think that maybe Daniel needed this just as much as he did. Maybe, just maybe, Daniel needed someone to hurt with… Someone who was hurting too, so that he felt less alone in that feeling.

Another small flicker of hope.

A candle in the darkness.

“So, how often do you – “

“Everyday.”

He wondered how many nights Daniel spent out here, unable to tear himself from the spot. His heart broke at the thought of little ten-year-old Daniel, alone in Puerto Lobos, having to build a memorial for his brother… Alone.

How did he manage on his own for so long? Did being unbelievably strong and resilient run in the family?

They walked in silence until they arrived at Daniel’s… house?

Home?

Finn hardly paid attention to his surroundings, feeling like the world was closing in on him slowly. His vision was tunneled, and he couldn’t see beyond what was right in front of him. His tears had dried on the walk back, but he still felt that painful lump in his throat.

_One step at a time._

Even that proved hard to do when he stumbled, tripping over a shoe, or a bag, or something.

It didn’t matter.

Daniel caught him. He threw an arm around Finn and held him up effortlessly…

He was so strong.

All grown up.

Little ten-year-old Daniel…

This Daniel – not the kid from Seattle that had been so excited to throw knives at a tree in the woods – led him to the couch, said something, and then disappeared for who knows how long.

And Finn… He just sat there, staring into his lap, waiting.

“Here. This should be enough to keep you warm for the night.”

“Uh… Thanks?” Finn looked questioningly at the items that were tossed onto his lap. He lifted the blanket up, held it in front of him, and looked over at Daniel.

“Don’t get any ideas. I’m not saying you can stay here. Just… I didn’t want you to freeze out there on that beach.”

“H-how did you know I’d still be there?”

“I’ve been there.”

“Right. Sorry, I – “

“It’s fine,” Daniel said, brushing him off. “The couch isn’t great, but it’ll do. There’s water in the fridge and glasses in that cupboard if you need.”

Finn didn’t even see which cupboard Daniel pointed to.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, well... Night.”

“Wait, I – “

Once again, Finn didn’t get another word out before Daniel left him alone, slamming his bedroom door shut behind him.

_Shit._

_What now?_

With nothing left to do, Finn kicked his shoes off, set up his… bed… and tried to get comfortable. A word that seemed so foreign as he tossed and turned, trying to find a position that felt good.

He tried to think of something good. Something positive. Something happy.

After what felt like hours, he started drifting. Thinking…

What was Daniel doing right then? Was he asleep? Was he comfortable? Did he manage to find peace, enough to fall asleep every night? Or did he usually sit up all night, holed up in his bedroom and thinking about the past?

Finn’s mind drifted further. The couch was okay. It was soft enough. Warm enough. But it still felt empty…

He was alone.

Suddenly, a series of images raced through his mind in a flash.

Watching the sunset together. Drinking cocktails out of coconuts. Kissing under the moonlight. Running through the trees. Lying in bed… together. Falling asleep _together_. Feeling his arms around –

_Stop it._

He shot up from the couch, chest heaving, head throbbing, heart aching.

_Why does this have to be so hard?_

A single tear fell down his cheek, and he sniffled, wiping it away. Apparently not crying was even harder than falling asleep, but he didn’t want to cry anymore.

Forcing himself up off the couch, he walked over to the kitchen to get some water. He made sure to be quiet though. The last thing he wanted was to disturb Daniel.

_Which cupboard was it again?_

Reasoning with himself that a glass couldn’t be hard to find, Finn decided to open all of them until he found it.

The first cupboard had nothing. As did the second.

Where did this boy keep all his stuff?

The third cupboard…

Finn would have snorted under any other circumstances, as a bunch of bags of Chock-o-Crisps came tumbling out, exposing even more bags and boxes of them further back in the cupboard.

_At least one thing is still the same._

“What are you doing?”

“Shit.” Finn spun on his heels to see Daniel standing in the hallway, glaring at him. He was about to apologize for waking him when he realized that the boy didn’t… He didn’t seem like someone that had just woken up. “Uh, I was lookin’ for the glasses…”

“That one.”

Daniel pointed to one of the cupboards. Finn smiled apologetically – smiling felt weird suddenly – before crouching down to put all the Chock-o-Crisps back. He kept his head down as he packed them all away.

“Sorry if I woke you,“ Finn said as he packed, but Daniel seemed to ignore the apology entirely.

“Leave one out.”

“What?”

“One bag. I’m hungry.”

“O-oh… Here.” Finn tossed him one of the bags. His aim was awful, and it nearly flew right past Daniel, but the boy caught it with his powers with ease. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.”

Finn didn’t know what to say to that, so he simply nodded, before getting himself a glass of water like he’d planned to do in the first place. He expected to turn around and find the room empty again but was surprised to see Daniel on the couch, shoveling down three Chock-o-Crisps at once.

“What time is it?” Finn asked, looking outside the window. It was still dark out, and it was probably way past midnight, but his stupid phone had died hours ago.

Daniel merely shrugged; mouth full of chocolate.

“Do you always wake up in the middle of the night to eat chocolate?”

Daniel shrugged again.

“Did you even sleep?”

“Jesus. You ask a lot of questions.”

“I have a lot of questions.”

Daniel rolled his eyes at that but didn’t answer the question. Finn dropped it, plopping himself down on the couch next to him. They didn’t talk.

Not for a long time.

What was there to say?

“Daniel, are you – “

“If you’re about to ask me if I’m okay – “

“Just answer the question, man. Please? Talk to me.”

“I don’t have to do anything for you.”

“You’re right… You don’t.”

“What are you even trying to do? Are we supposed to talk about our feelings, like friends, and then hug it out, _like friends_?”

“We don’t have to. That’s not what I expect.”

“Then what do you expect?”

“Nothin’. I’m jus’… I’m tryin’ here,” Finn said sheepishly, feeling far too small in that moment.

“I…” Daniel paused, before pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. “I know you’re trying, and I appreciate that, but... It’s just a lot, okay? It’s been…”

“Six years.”

“Yeah. I just wasn’t expecting… I never thought I’d…” Daniel sighed. “I’ve been alone for so long, that I’ve gotten used to it.”

“I get it.”

“I’m sorry if I – “

“It’s cool, Daniel. You ain’t got to apologize for anythin’.”

Daniel seemed like he had something to say to that. It was as if he wanted to argue, and insist that he did have something to apologize for… He didn’t though. Just stayed silent instead, maintaining his permanently stoic expression.

“So…” Finn sighed, desperate to change the subject. “You dyed your hair.”

It was the least drastic change out of the many… But it was something.

“Yeah.”

“And you got tattoos…”

“Sure did.”

“You look… different.”

“I am different.”

“Not that different,” Finn said, pointing to the sea of empty wrappers at Daniel’s feet. He always knew how to power through chocolate.

To his surprise, Daniel actually flashed him a smile at that. It was small. Brief.

But a smile is a smile.

“You want one?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Cool. More for me then.”

And for a moment, a shockingly brief moment, he could see that ten-year-old kid again.

It was hard to believe that this person in front of him was that same kid…

And it was even harder to believe that that kid had grown up… That he was the same person that Finn found on the beach. The boy with a glare that could kill. The boy that nearly…

_Shit._

“Daniel…”

“Hm?”

“Who were those people?”

“Uh… what people?”

_Playing dumb? Seriously, little man?_

“On the beach. The people that – “

“Not important.”

“If you’re in trouble, then – “

“I can handle it.”

“Okay…” Finn didn’t believe that it was okay. Yeah, maybe Daniel could handle himself. He had his powers after all, but... “Y’know, you can tell me if – “

“I know.”

“Will you ever let me finish a sentence?”

“I just did.”

_Fair enough, I guess._

“Jus’ know that you can tell me anythin’, alright? Literally anythin’.”

“I know…”

“Okay. So – ”

“Can we please just not talk?” Daniel asked, cutting him off again. Finn’s shoulders went rigid at the sharp tone of Daniel’s voice, which the boy noticed before his features softened. “Sorry. I just… I like the quiet.”

“Oh. Yeah, ‘course. I’ll shut up.”

Daniel nodded, before falling silent again. Finn followed suit, despite feeling way too awkward. This wasn’t… This was definitely not what he imagined he’d find when he flew all the way out here. He never would have thought that…

_Still can’t even think about it._

But this was reality.

They sat in silence, side by side for the rest of the night. Neither of them spoke or moved or went to sleep at all. The silence itself was okay though. Peaceful, even.

But Daniel…

Did Daniel ever even sleep? Was _he_ okay? He didn’t seem okay…

The sun rose, as did the rest of the world, and neither of them even noticed.

Finn couldn’t help but think about the time, six years ago, when he’d watched the sunset with Sean. How different things had been at the time…

If only he could go back.

“Okay,” Daniel said, clearing his throat. Finn took a moment to come back down to Earth, realizing he’d been crying again. He quickly looked away, hiding his tears that he couldn’t stop from falling anymore. “I’m gonna take a shower. You can use it after me if you want.”

Finn could do little more than nod, hearing Daniel’s footsteps fade into the distance.

The shower turned on, the water started running, and the noise gave Finn permission to cry without worrying that Daniel would hear him.

So, he buried his head in his hands and… cried.

Cried for Sean.

Cried for Daniel.

Cried for two brothers, a family, torn apart by life and death.

Cried for himself, and then cried even more about feeling selfish for that, but he couldn’t help it.

Luckily, Daniel took long showers, which gave Finn plenty of time to put himself back together. He splashed his face with water from the kitchen, threw all the empty chocolate wrappers in the trash, folded the blanket that he hadn’t used, and then waited patiently.

“All yours,” Daniel said, entering the room and opening the fridge without meeting his gaze. His voice wavered as he spoke, and Finn could swear his eyes looked a bit red, but he didn’t point it out.

“Thanks.”

In the shower, Finn scrubbed furiously, as if he hoped that with enough force, he could erase everything that had happened. Erase the pain, and the suffering, and the fact that Sean wasn’t here anymore.

But when he stepped out of the shower, his skin red from all the scrubbing…

It still hurt.

Sean was still gone.

_Get a grip, man._

Finn righted himself, breathing in and out for a few seconds, before heading out to face the day. To face Daniel.

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah. Think so.”

“Cool. Here, I made cup noodles.”

“Thanks, little man.”

Daniel stiffened slightly but didn’t fight him that time.

“Sorry, there’s not much else to eat. I… haven’t been to the store, in a while.”

“S’cool. Who doesn’t love cup noodles, right?”

“Right… Though, it does get kinda boring after a while, eating the same thing every day. I remember, me and Sean had to eat ravioli for a whole month straight once, which was… shit.”

“Damn…”

“Yeah. He tried his best though, so… I can’t really complain. He did what he could.”

“I believe that. Sean woulda done anythin’ for you.”

Daniel stiffened again. This time, it was much more noticeable. His fork fell out of his hand, hitting the ground as he shoved himself away from the counter.

“We should get going.”

“Oh… Okay.” Finn didn’t bother finishing his noodles. He didn’t feel like eating anyway.

Daniel was quiet all the way to the beach.

A different kind of quiet.

He didn’t say a word as they walked side by side, and Finn didn’t dare to say anything either. He didn’t even know what he _would_ say if he decided to open his mouth and talk.

Daniel didn’t want to talk though, so they didn’t talk.

Not a word was uttered between them until they arrived at the memorial.

Finn found himself lingering behind; standing back as Daniel kneeled in front of it, running his thumb across Sean’s name, and then dropping his hand to his side.

His hands were shaking.

“Hey, Sean…”

Suddenly he sounded… so much younger.

“Sorry I left yesterday without… saying goodbye. I had sh – _stuff_ to deal with.”

Finn’s heart clenched and he very nearly walked away to give Daniel privacy, but then the boy turned to look at him. He gestured for Finn to come closer, so he did.

“Finn’s here. He came here for you…”

“I came here for both of you,” Finn said, catching Daniel’s attention. The boy looked surprised by that, and he paused, staring at Finn, before clearing his throat and looking away again.

“I thought you might like seeing us together. Like old times.”

_Old times._

“He really misses you.”

_More than anything._

“We… We both do.” Daniel’s quiet admission was enough to break Finn’s heart altogether. He raised his arm and placed his hand on Daniel’s shoulder reassuringly. The boy sighed, looking at Finn’s tattooed hand.

“Finn, there’s…”

“What?” Finn asked.

Daniel looked up at his face, eyebrows furrowing before he shook his head and looked away again.

“N-nothing. Nevermind.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

It didn’t seem like he was telling the truth though. Daniel was off. Distinctly off.

Even more so than before.

Finn ignored it for a while, staying quiet as Daniel pulled out two beers and offered him one. It was weird to think about Daniel drinking, when in his mind he was still a kid somehow, but…

Daniel was all grown up now.

However, the more time passed, the harder it became to ignore what was right in front of him.

“What’s up?”

“Huh?”

“You alright?”

It felt like a little bit of a stupid question in hindsight.

Of course Daniel wasn’t fine. He lost his brother. There was nothing about this situation that was fine…

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Daniel was a good liar and a good actor, and if not for the tears in his eyes, Finn might have believed that.

“You need a minute, or – “

“I’m fine,” Daniel repeated firmly.

“What’s going on?”

“I… I just… I’m sorry, Finn.”

“For what?”

“I didn’t… Fuck.”

Daniel pushed himself off the ground and onto his feet before storming off. Finn watched him dumbly for a second or two before his body caught up to his brain and he jumped to his feet too.

“Daniel!”

“I’m sorry.”

Daniel kept repeating those words as he walked, refusing to slow down or even look at Finn.

“Daniel, hey! Jus’ stop for a second.”

_Please stop running away._

“Go back to the memorial. I’ll see you later.”

“I’m not goin’ back without you. Now, what the hell are you apologizin’ for?” Finn asked, forcing the words out as he ran. Daniel was much taller now, and keeping up with his long strides was proving to be a difficult task.

“I’m sorry that he’s not here. I know that you… you wanted to see him. I’m sorry.” He kept walking, showing no signs of stopping. It was like he was hoping that if he went far enough, he could get away from whatever he was running from.

“Of course I wanted to see Sean, but you’ve got nothin’ to be sorry about. What matters now is that you’re here,” Finn said, finally launching himself forward into a sprint to get ahead and planting himself firmly in front of Daniel. “And I’m right here with you.”

He was so tired of running.

The boy was forced to stop but kept his head down. Finn grabbed him by the shoulders, leaning down to try and meet his eyes but Daniel avoided his gaze again.

“He should have been here too,” he said under his breath.

“Yeah, but…” Finn trailed off, not wanting to reach the end of that sentence.

_He’s not._

“We can’t go around blamin’ ourselves for what happened,” Finn said instead. “Sean wouldn’t have wanted you to blame yourself.”

“But what if it was my fault?”

“Daniel, it’s not – “

“You don’t know that, Finn,” Daniel said, suddenly yanking himself out of Finn’s grasp. “You weren’t there.”

“You’re right… I wasn’t. But I’m here now.” Finn stepped forward, trying to pull Daniel in for a hug but the boy pushed him back gently.

“Finn, I’m serious…”

“So am I. Daniel, you – “

“Sean wanted to surrender.”

“Wait… What?”

“At the border, he… he wanted to surrender. The cops were there, and I could have used my powers, but Sean… He didn’t want to hurt anyone else.”

“But I… What?!“

“He was going to turn himself in. He was going to let himself get thrown in jail, and I…” Daniel turned to meet his gaze, eyes welling up with tears. “I couldn’t let him throw his life away, after everything he’d done for me… Everything he’d done for _us_.”

“What… What are you saying?”

Daniel took a deep breath, blinking his tears back furiously. Finn admired his determination.

“It wasn’t fair, Finn. I couldn’t just let everything be for nothing.”

“I don’t understand...”

He did understand. He had a pretty good idea honestly, but he just…

He hoped he was wrong.

“I used my powers. I got us to across the border, but the cops… They started shooting at the car, and…”

“ _Oh shit_.”

“Sean never even got to see Mexico. If I had just – “

“Daniel, no… Don’t do this to yourself.”

“But it’s my fault, Finn. It’s my fault that Sean’s – “

“Hey, look at me.” Finn tried, but it was useless. Daniel took a step back, putting distance between them.

“No. I can’t. You should hate me.”

“I could never hate you,” Finn said, trying to close the gap but Daniel just backed away again.

“You should! I hate myself for what I… Don’t you see? If I hadn’t… Sean would have...”

“Daniel…”

“ _Sean is dead, Finn._ He’s dead, because of _me_.”

“Shit, I…”

Finn fell silent. Speechless. Barely holding onto reality as he processed what Daniel said, and he…

He knew this feeling all too well. The feeling of overwhelming guilt. Knowing that you messed up and that your mistake hurt someone important.

Daniel was still speaking in the background. Everything sounded like it would if he were underwater. Muffled. Distant.

“See? You can’t even say that I’m wrong, because you know it’s true!”

Maybe. Maybe Daniel’s choice was the wrong one, and Sean… paid the price. But what good did it do if Daniel spent the rest of his life punishing himself for a choice that no kid should have ever had to face?

“Fuck. This was why I didn’t want you to follow me. I knew that once you found out...”

Daniel didn’t deserve to suffer for his mistake forever.

“And now you’re standing there, saying nothing at all, looking like someone just stole your last joint, and I’m talking to myself!”

In a time when all you could do was blame yourself, a little forgiveness went a long way. In times of darkness, the smallest flicker of hope could light the way forward.

“If you wanna go back now, that’s fine. You can go back to America and we can just – “

“I don’t blame you, Daniel.”

“W-what?”

Finn sighed, looking Daniel in the eye. For once… Daniel didn’t avoid eye contact. He held it, and it gave Finn a chance to really see… See the pain, and the anger, and the regret.

The guilt.

The _hopelessness._

He stepped closer again.

“I don’t blame you.”

“But Sean… He – “

“He wouldn’t have wanted you to do this to yourself.”

“Finn – “

“Listen to me. I don’t know much… but if there’s one damn thing in this world that I know for sure, it’s that Sean would have never wanted _this_. Sean loved you, Daniel.”

“I know that…”

“And you know your brother, better than me. You should know, _better than me_ , that he’d never wanna see you beat yourself up like this. He’d want you to live your life and be happy. Be _safe_.”

“I… I know.”

“Good.”

“It’s just… so fucking hard.”

“I know, little man… I know.”

“How am I supposed to do this?”

“I don’t know, honestly. This shit ain’t somethin’ you can just get my snappin’ your fingers.”

“Great,” Daniel said, rolling his eyes up toward the sky.

“But…” Finn closed the gap finally, gripping his shoulder tighter, making their eyes meet again. “That’s okay. Nobody said it was easy. But it’s possible.”

“It doesn’t seem possible.”

“But it is. And you’ll get there…”

“How?”

“No fuckin’ clue. But we can figure it out.”

“I…”

“No pressure. I’m jus’… You’ve been out here, pickin’ yourself up every damn morning. You’re strong enough to make it in this fuckin’ world on your own, and I know that,” Finn said. “But you gotta give yourself a break too. Let people help you. Leanin’ on someone once in a while ain’t gonna make you weak, y’know?”

Daniel didn’t say anything for a while, seeming way in his head about… everything. Finn was just about ready to pull him out of that trance when the boy sighed.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll try to… take your advice, I guess.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“So… What do you wanna do now? You need some time alone, or – “

“No. Let’s… Let’s go back.”

“Alright. But jus’, no more runnin’ off on me, alright? Chasin’ each other through the sand cannot be our thing. I’m gettin’ too old for sports,” Finn joked, patting him on the shoulder.

Daniel actually let out a soft chuckle at that, which he tried to stifle, but it didn’t go unnoticed. Finn took it as a small victory.

Smiling, he threw his arm around Daniel and guided him back to the memorial. Daniel stiffened slightly at the touch but didn’t try to wiggle his way out of Finn’s hold… even if he did pull a face at it.

Progress was progress.

Even though he wanted more. Needed more, actually. What he needed was a hug, so tight it hurt. A hug that would put all the broken pieces together again, until they both felt okay again…

They returned to their spot from before, and sat in front of that memorial… _Sean’s memorial_ … for hours.

Actual hours.

The day passed them by, and they just… sat there. They talked a little. Mostly to Sean. Not so much to each other. Partly because they didn’t know what to say to each other, but also partly because they knew they’d have enough time to catch up. They had all the time in the world.

But this was about Sean…

Finn wanted to believe that Sean was there. That he was right there next to them, holding his arms around them, even if they couldn’t see or hear or feel him. He even got so far into his own imagination that he thought for a minute that he could _smell_ Sean.

Sean somehow always smelled of fresh mint and cigarettes…

“We should probably start heading back.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“Yeah…”

“Alright then. Guess we should start sayin’ goodbye then, sweetie…”

Finn didn’t want to say goodbye… He hated that he had to. In his mind, he was already making plans to come and visit again the next day. Even if he was alone…

And as if reading his mind, Daniel cleared his throat before speaking again.

“Don’t worry though, Sean… You’ll see us both again. You know I’ll always be around, and Finn… Finn’s gonna stick around too, for a while…”

_Wait…_

“We’re gonna… try and look out for each other, I guess,” he continued softly. Quietly. As if he was still trying to wrap his own head around the idea.

“Are you sure?” Finn’s voice was just as quiet.

“If you still want to. Just… for a little while.”

“Hell fuckin’ yeah, I still want to. Hear that, sweetheart?” Finn asked, addressing Sean… Sean’s memorial… Sean. “Me and your brother… We’re gonna be jus’ fine, alright? Don’tchu worry.”

As he said those words, he threw his arm around Daniel’s shoulders and flashed him a smile. Daniel, much to Finn’s surprise, returned the smile timidly.

“Yeah… We’re gonna be fine, Sean.”

And then… Daniel opened his arms and hugged him.

It was a bit of an awkward hug. Neither of them was prepared for it. Not even Daniel, who had initiated it, seemed to know how to do it. How long had it been since he’d hugged anybody?

Still, they fumbled awkwardly before settling into it.

Daniel’s hold was gentle. Weak. He was barely holding on at all. But Finn held him tight, holding on for dear life, and Daniel didn’t shove him away.

It was worth the struggle.

It didn’t put all the broken pieces back together, but it certainly helped. They still had a long way to go. Both of them. Finn knew that. The road ahead was so long, Finn couldn’t even see the end…

But they’d made a start. A step in the right direction.

And maybe Sean… wasn’t around anymore…

But Daniel was here, and Daniel was still standing, and Daniel – even if he tried to deny it – needed someone to be around for _him_. Finn was more than ready to be that person because he needed the same thing.

They were looking for the same thing.

And Finn…

He was as close to home as he could ever possibly be.

**Author's Note:**

> This was not what I planned to write when I first sat down at my laptop, but here it is.  
> The lone wolf ending hurts my soul and writing this was really a roller-coaster, but I'm happy with how this turned out.  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3


End file.
